Perception of beauty – continuing “we are the same and yet we are different”

As mentioned in the previous article, we have our own perceptions of what is beauty and what it means and looks like to be successful in our own culture.

We are brought up with some values and ideas of what represents beauty for us ! In the western world for example it could be a tall, slim blond woman, or a very well-built (muscular) and tall man.

How is it in other cultures ? That is the question, and that is what we need to be aware of when we travel or when we meet with counterparts to not offend anybody !

I remember a funny encounter I had in Singapore that speaks for itself really ! I have to say that in that moment I felt very unsure and insecure about myself, but when I think back, I just start to laugh because this summarizes the perception of beauty very well !

I was taking a cab together with my sister in Singapore, and whilst driving, the cab driver looked at me and said to me very straightforwardly: “Miss, you are very beautiful, but you have very long nose !” I didn´t know where to put myself or what to answer, and my sister was just laughing next to me saying that it was the best joke she had ever heard ! Seeing this. the cab driver said it again and looked at both my sister and I and said: “Miss, are you the young lady´s mother ?” – now at the time I was 28, looking in western standards like a 23-year-old ! I was just bedazzled and didn´t kno what to say or how to react, so I just said “sorry Sir, I am not her mother”. And i thought the topic was over. After looking at me for a longer period of time he turned around and said: ” Ohhhh so you are her auntie !” Well, hahah, I just told him that i was the older sister, and he laughed.

Now this can happen to anyone anywhere, and the best thing is to keep calm and try to understand where the other person is coming from ! Of course, for the cab driver, probably all westerners look the same and it is difficult to find out whether a person is old or young ! The same would apply to us when faced with an Eastern counterpart. My advice would be, if not sure, just ask your counterpart, of course if you know them well and you know that such a question is not offensive to them !

Conclusion, beauty is a cultural perception, we all have our idols and our perspective of what is beautiful for us, this does not mean that because someone sees it differently we need to be offended. Please feel free to share any experiences you may have had when travelling around the globe !

Thank you very much !

Picturesque Italy: Positano and Capri

We look the same and yet we are different !

We are all unique in the way we think, we see, we feel, we look like and we perceive.

We cannot generalize that because someone is darker colored that this person is African. This person might be actually German or French or Swiss ! We have the tendency as humans to categorize people either through stereotypes when we recognize the language they speak or when we see them.

Where am I getting at here ? Well, I have no intention in harming anyone with what is going to follow, but each culture has its own perception of beauty. Especially physical and facial beauty. In Asian countries you will find that the whiter a person , the more beautiful the person is; in India you will find that the more voluptuous a person is, the richer they are, in Germany you will find that the more tanned a person, the better holiday it has had and looks very good !

We all have a different idea of beauty, but there is not just only beauty I would like to talk about, I would also like to talk about our physical appearance. Have you ever walked in your street and saw an Asian tourist and thought : “another Chinese person, there are quite a lot of Chinese coming to visit us, how nice!” – now the person you have seen might have been from another country. What happened is that we saw their physical appearance and straight away assumed that they were Chinese. There are many Asian countries with particular differences, interesting would be to understand what differentiates a Chinese from a Thai, from a Japanese, from a Korean , etc.  After having lived in Singapore, I can now spot differences

It is the same for other cultures, we tend to put them in one basket because their physical traits are similar, but if we look a little bit closer we can see the differences and appreciate that the person we communicate with is unique and is not put in a box with the rest !

The aim of this article is to stimulate our thought of perception and stereotype. But stereotype through physical aspects, please feel free to comment if you have had any experiences !

Viet Nam – Hanoi and Halong Bay 2008

„People don´t understand me“ syndrome

When coming back from your expatriation, have you ever thought that people around you in your home country had changed? That to get a pen or some paper in your company, it takes time and you need to go through a lot of paperwork before you get it? What happened, why is it that people don´t understand you?

People haven´t really changed, the one who may have changed is you. Indeed, you have been living abroad for a certain amount of time, adapting to your host country and incorporating some of your host culture´s values and customs. Let´s also not forget that whilst you were abroad you had probably more freedom in your job, you could make your own decisions, direct your own team and get as much paper and pens as you wanted!

Coming back may seem like a culture shock for you because the people you have left behind, whether colleagues, friends or family, have in reality not changed, they have continued to live their lives as before, keeping to their work habits, getting together habits and have kept their usual hobbies. It may seem strange to you and you may feel as if you were the odd one in the group. What you project onto people is actually projected onto you as well; they see you as a different person: you have been away for so long, you have seen different countries, cultures, have picked up new hobbies, have escalated the hierarchy ladder, so for them you are different and that is why they probably do not understand you.

To get back into your home culture smoothly, think about what you have experienced, what has changed in your value system and in your customs, what was important for you in your culture that you didn´t forget on your assignment and think of how you can build a bridge between you and your friends, colleagues, family to enable a smooth repatriation and re-adaptation.

When coming back from your expatriation, have you ever thought that people around you in your home country had changed? That to get a pen or some paper in your company, it takes time and you need to go through a lot of paperwork before you get it? What happened, why is it that people don´t understand you?

People haven´t really changed, the one who may have changed is you. Indeed, you have been living abroad for a certain amount of time, adapting to your host country and incorporating some of your host culture´s values and customs. Let´s also not forget that whilst you were abroad you had probably more freedom in your job, you could make your own decisions, direct your own team and get as much paper and pens as you wanted!

Coming back may seem like a culture shock for you because the people you have left behind, whether colleagues, friends or family, have in reality not changed, they have continued to live their lives as before, keeping to their work habits, getting together habits and have kept their usual hobbies. It may seem strange to you and you may feel as if you were the odd one in the group. What you project onto people is actually projected onto you as well; they see you as a different person: you have been away for so long, you have seen different countries, cultures, have picked up new hobbies, have escalated the hierarchy ladder, so for them you are different and that is why they probably do not understand you.

To get back into your home culture smoothly, think about what you have experienced, what has changed in your value system and in your customs, what was important for you in your culture that you didn´t forget on your assignment and think of how you can build a bridge between you and your friends, colleagues, family to enable a smooth repatriation and re-adaptation.

Singapore lah in pictures

Perception of time

Time just as any other important area of our life is a perception that not all of us share or have the same idea of !

I remember when I left France after my BA to do a Masters in Spain, i found that my world was crumbling down because my perception of time was not shared by my class mates ! Indeed I remember going with my class mates which were all from Latin America (i.e. I was the only European and poor them, half-French, half-German) on holiday to Mallorca !

There were 12 of us and we rented 4 cars so that we could go around the island and visit. As I loved and still do sometimes to plan in advance and know what we will be doing the next day, i chatted with my friends and made a sort of Agenda for the trip. The agenda was really not used, I remember asking when we should meet for breakfast and hearing everyone agreeing on 10:00am. The only one at 10:00 am at the breakfast table was me, myself and I. The rest arrived at noon ! I was still young then, and it really bothered me because for me I was losing half the day ! My friends continued doing this for 2 days until I had enough and confronted them about it and asking them to be a little more flexible with me as well as I was also different and also had my rythm. We could maybe meet halfway and find a compromise !

The response was: “Nadège, por favor tranquilisa te ! Estamos de vacaciones y tenemos todo el tiempo del mundo asi que tomate todo con calma y disfrute !” which literally means, relax and enjoy your time and holiday !

I have to say it was very difficult and I felt that my efforts to comply to their view on time was not compensated by a small gesture on their part, but when i look back today, I am truly happy that this happened ! It made me much more flexible and also made me understand that yes, time can be endless and that in certain situations you don´t need to perceive it as scarce, hence schedule everything (Here I am talking about vacation ) .

This experience has taught me so much, and I am glad I went through it because one has to set priorities in one´s life ! For business, time is important (for myself), it might be different for someone else, and I respect that.

We should all respect and accept the fact that we see and perceive the world differently, which makes us in a way very unique. And our uniqueness is what defines us !

Gong Xi Fa Cai ! Happy Chinese New Year 2012 !

I would like to wish all of you a prosperous and successful year of the Dragon !

Chinese New Year has been celebrated over centuries, it begins on the first day of the lunar calendar (therefore it is also called Lunar Year) and lasts for 15 days until the moon is bright again.

I chose a little video which summarizes well the tradition of Chinese New Year throughout Asia, I hope you enjoy it !!

Case Study: a Franco- German Wedding

This summer I was invited by one of my French friends to her wedding in France. She was getting married to a common friend who was German. The city hall and church wedding were held in both languages so that all guests could enjoy the wedding.

After the ceremonies, all guests gathered in a Chalet and the party was celebrated “French style”, hence an emphasis on food and wine. The dinner lasted for about 4 hours, around great food and wine. After the dinner, all gathered up on the dance floor to celebrate the couple´s union!

Now, I was interested in understanding how the German guests perceived the wedding and thus I went on a little expedition and asked a few questions to them, here are some of the remarks that came out:

• The difference between a French and a German wedding is that in France, you prefer to sit at a table enjoying good food and wine, whilst having discussions with one another, whereas in Germany, we have a quick dinner and then we drink and dance until dawn.

 

• Another interesting point that was raised about the French culture was that the French work to live, and the Germans live to work! So work is perceived as very important for Germans, it comes before everything else.

 

• The French family, as opposed to the German family seems to be more united, family values and unity are very important, and when there is a celebration such as a wedding or even for Christmas, the family comes together; whereas in Germany it is slightly different, it stays within the nuclear family. Of course we celebrate with the grandparents and aunts/uncles, but the occasions are rarer.

By the end of the evening it seemed clear that both cultures are neighbours, but their way of living life and celebrating is different. This case study is food for thought: think about your friends or neighbours from other countries, and try to see whether your perspectives on life are the same, and if not, why is it different and how can you find a common ground?

Borneo Part 2 – Sabah, Pulau Mabul

After having spent a few days in the jungle in the region of Sandakan, my friend and I decided to spend 5 days by the sea and stay in Pulau Mabul.

Our initial plan was to stay on Pulau Sipadan which is now a nature reserve and Jean- Jacque Cousteau´s preferred diving spot, however in the beginning of 2000, a group of divers staying on the island´s hotel were taken hostage by a Philippino islamist group and stayed for weeks in the Philippino jungle, so since that incident, Pulau Sipadan was closed to the public, made a natural reserve and is now guarded by the Malaysian military.

That´s for the background, so we took a plane from Sandakan to Tawau. We arrived there and it was raining, not really the weather we were hoping for, but we thought that once on the island the sun would great us and it did ! After an hour drive to the port we took a boat and headed to the island of Pulau Mabul which is the closest to Sipadan.

We arrived at the Sipadan Water Village after a bit more than an hour boat drive and we thought we had landed in paradise ! The bungalows were built above the water and the staff was really nice. The next five days were spent snorkeling and diving !

Now there is one little thing I should say before we start. I am afraid of fish ! Quite funny isn´t it if you are going to spend your holiday snorkeling and diving ! Well, I found a way to get rid of my fear which was to take pictures. Indeed, by having the camera in front of me and seeing the fishes and sea from the camera angle I felt more relaxed and was less afraid.

So we started getting acquainted with our friendly fishes by the jetty and after two days went to Pulau Sipadan ! No need to say that the first thing after entering the water and looking down was the sight of a white tip shark ! I am going to spare you the screams ! But our guide said: “Don´t worry lah, shark very good, not hungry so will not eat you!” How reassuring thank you ! So we made our way away from the shark and saw a beautiful flora and fauna which you can discover in the pictures enclosed

After that wonderful day snorkeling I decided I was ready for my discovery dive which we made the next day and the rest of the time we were in Mabul. Our aim was to find Nemo (or anemone fish) and we did after hours of searching whilst diving and snorkeling ! What an amazing feeling it is to be underwater, it is so peaceful, calm and relaxing. To be honest it was the only thing that really calmed me down and relaxed me !

After our five days, we wanted to stay longer but work was calling and we had to head back to Singapore ! I have to say that was the best holiday I had ever had ! surrounded by peace and quiet, lovely dive instructor, lovely staff who took great care of us , great food especially fresh seafood and a surrounding which is unforgettable!